Financial Obligations during Divorce or with Single Family Households

Financial Obligations during Divorce or with Single Family Households

Some misnomers regarding child support:

• Fathers and/or Mothers sometimes begrudge paying child support since they believe that it is given to the mother or father  and that the parent uses such on self instead of supporting the child.  Correction: Child support is provided to provide support for the child(ren) to have shelter, nourishment, clothing, education, medical, and extra curricular activities of the child that aid in development of the child's emotional, cognitive, and physical health and over all well being.
• Child support ceases at age 18. Correction: This may not be true if the child continues their education (please consult with an attorney) of the child has mental health or physical health issues that may create a necessity for them to remain in the home of the custodial parent extendedly (please consult with attorney).
• Arrears cannot be collected after the child is 18. Correction: Arrears that have not been litigated have NO TIME LIMITS for this money to be liable for procurement for the adult child who was cheated out of their child support by omission of the demographics (which made it impossible for the custodial parent to know the whereabouts of the missing parent) and deliberate omission and failure to report to the child support services  (if garnished) or to the custodial parent (if not garnished), any changes of income that would warrant a revision of the child's support. As an example: a parent who is making $150,000.00 annually yet paying child support on a wage of $40,000-would be considered a criminal and civil offense. If the above incident was discovered later and yet no retro-revision of child support was provided; then the child would be entitled to that sum of money to be paid to them; even if they were adults and living outside the custodial home from their childhood. the child services may not be as versed on retro-filing for arrears as the attorneys of your state. 
• The court always rule in favor of the mothers so why should I even try to get visitation of custody of my child(ren). Or why should I stop drugs and change? Correction: The parent who is stable, able to provide parenting, are of good repute, are not engaging in Alcohol or Drug Abuse,  who is able to provide shelter, who has income, and willing to take on this responsibility, will have equal consideration in the courts. Either or both parents may be required to pay child support depending upon their time with their children and their wages.  Most often the parents decide who is the primary parent and agree upon visitation rights; however when the court steps in, it is due to a serious issue that can be harmful to the child(ren) such as Domestic Violence/Anger management issues; alcohol abuse issues,  mental health  issues that result in poor judgment, and/or incarceration of a parent.  The court would prefer both parents to be actively involved with their children and therefore the parent who is dysfunctional would benefit from counseling and working real changes so as to be healthier and more suitable to parent children. 

Who does it hurt when child support is not paid timely and accurately in accordance with the parent's obligation and wages?

• The child(ren) sacrifice Christian or other Private School opportunities; possible tutoring that may have been needed, and/or other educational situations that could have been afforded but had to be let go due to the financial burden solely then being placed upon the custodial parent. In most cases but not all; the custodial parent is normally a female who earns 25% less wages for the same job as males, and who are responsible for any school issues or health issues regarding the children, resulting in time off from work and even loss of work due to parenting.
• The children sacrifice possibly band, choir, art, photography, club affiliation, dance, sports, boy/girl scouts, and other like extracurricular activities due to the cost of uniforms, equipment, memberships, and like expenses that may also include travel and hotel expenses; that the custodial parent cannot afford to provide.
• The children possibly sacrifice living in better neighborhoods in nicer shelters (houses or apartments), nicer clothing so as to fit in with their peers which could result in their teasing, embarrassment, and perspective of not fitting in; also bullying.
• The children could have had a trust fund established by the custodial parent from any extra money after the fundamentals were cared for-had he or she been provided with the appropriate child support for their child(ren). This could have aided in college or other needs of the child once the child became an adult and proved able to manage these funds or until an age where the child should be able to manage the fund-aiding their adult life to be easier as they transition from parent to living alone, finding work, locating their own housing, and like.

Parents who choose to neglect child support responsibilities-directly neglect their children of a better life, and these parents need to be held accountable by that child if the child is now an adult, with the assistance of the custodial parent who was parenting during the time of the criminal offense.

Parents who do not make real changes in their dysfunctional lifestyle, habits, and/or personality (lack of impulse control and self management) need to understand that no one is to blame for their situation but their addictions or choices that lead to sacrificing their children.

Mothers need to earn the same wages for the same jobs as men, and should receive the same accommodations provided to male fathers by employers. Employers need to consider in house child care for male and female employees as part of their benefit plan to aid in the issue of single parent households in order for single parents to become productive and active contributors to the community.

Neither parent ceases to be a parent when the relationship between the parents dissolve.

Today there are many single parent households and blended families who struggle due to the above issue. Intense frustration occurs along with legal costs. Parents and children have increased anxiety and depression, anger, and like transitioning issues which effect their quality of life in many aspects-resulting in problems in home, school, and work. 

Heal and Hope Counseling Services covers this issue and all life skills that parents are to provide for their children in their certified parenting class: Wednesdays. Call to register for our next class.

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