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Posted on 02/24/2022

Finding the Spark in your Relationship Again

Finding the Spark in your Relationship Again

This article was written by Staci Lee Schnell, M.S., C.S., LMFT | View Staci's NRMFT Profile | Visit Staci's Website

Falling in love with your partner for the first time is wonderful. Maintaining that love once a relationship is well-established requires effort. Many marriages have gone through a great many challenges during the COVID-19 pandemic. Quarantining together, working from home, and homeschooling are just a few of the things that created issues for couples. 

Here are some ways to nurture your relationship and find that spark again. 

Emotional Connection

Your spouse may have started to feel more like your roommate than your lover.Try making it a priority to deepen your emotional connection by doing things together.  While you are working on the house, have meaningful conversations.   While you are binge-watching a show, take time to actually discuss it.  Discover new things to do now or in the future. 


Date Nights

Date Nights are still important.  Dressing up and going out together helps continue your bond.  Taking the time to dress up demonstrates to your spouse that they matter to you. Try new restaurants. If you feel comfortable eating out, go to a restaurant. If you don’t, order takeout, set a beautiful table, and serve the food on your good dishes.  Explore new places or plan new post-pandemic adventures to enjoy together. Having fun and laughing with one another is a great way to keep the spark alive.



It’s easy to forget to do the simple things that bring joy to your partner when we get into the rut of everyday life.  Don’t forget to compliment your spouse throughout the day.  Your marriage deserves attention and effort on a daily basis.   Appreciation shows your partner that you love and value them.



It is also necessary to rediscover the person with whom you fell in love and remember your original feelings of why you were attracted to one another in the first place.  Focusing on those exciting feelings you had just being together, and remembering the warm sensations of being with one another, helps recapture the emotions and sparks of the past.   Taking a trip down memory lane, remembering the dating as well as the life you are building together will be helpful during this difficult time. 


Remaining physically intimate is extremely important in keeping the spark alive in a marriage as well. Being committed to meeting each other’s physical needs and desires helps keep the flame burning and ensures genuine love.Sex reduces stress, anger, and anxiety and it increases happiness and contentment.  You release oxytocin and endorphins (the good hormones) during sex. By staying physically connected, emotional intimacy increases due to the feelings of trust and mutual respect.



Marriage Counseling can help couples navigate and create a greater understanding of one another, deepen their emotional and physical bonds and promote the closeness required to sustain the lasting, loving, and passionate relationship they desire.

If you are looking for professional counseling for your relationship or for yourself then please click here to search for a therapist in your state or local area. The National Registry of Marriage Friendly Therapists has therapists in almost every state, if we don't have one listed in your area then we will search your area and give you a list of possible candidates. Help is here.

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