All marriages go through stages and transitions. Even the most fulfilling marriage may have some troubles along the way - rifts that need repairing, trust that needs replenishment. Interestingly, having strong feelings - both positive and negative - is evidence of connection, of caring, of an investment and hope for the future, even when separation has occurred.
Marital and Couple Therapy and Counseling are designed to make the most of emotional resources that are already present though perhaps unrecognized. Their aim is to clarify how problems persist and to offer alternative and perhaps unexpected solutions. That's in line with asking couples what they want to "keep" as is, what they do like and love about their relationship. So, it's just as important to notice what is working well, to highlight the connections that bring people together and keep people together.
Changes that matter: birth of a child, a death, any event that has an impact on people's roles and expectations in their personal emotional network. I've worked with couples in a pre-marital stage and, later on, in deciding about parenthood. They made good use of our sessions.
Many marriages could benefit from some "rescuing". Conflict and disappointment, anger, complaints and wishes all need a therapeutic space in which to be expressed and heard. All parties want to have a "voice".
I've trained with specialists whose knowledge about how people communicate anchors my approach. I've earned a Ph.D. Through the years, I've taught and supervised many other professionals in Couple and Family therapy, most recently at New York University.
And speaking of families, we all come from one, so it's advantageous to have a therapist who is familiar not only with marital issues, but with how families of origin may shed some light on issues a couple feels "stuck" about.
