I find working with working with couples in marriage therapy to be very rewarding. I have the privilege of seeing couples work through the issues that are roadblocks in their relationship and discover new ways to communicate, to be more nurturing and supportive of each other and to be a united front in this world that tends to pull couples apart. I have seen couples regain that sense of intimacy that they had early on or always wanted. Since starting as a licensed couples counselor in 1993, I have gained a wealth of experience in helping couples work through the myriad of issues that can become roadblocks to a healthy couple relationship.
I provide a safe and secure environment for you to work on your relationship: feeling safe with your therapist is key to succeeding with your goals to improve your relationship. I will sit down with you and learn what issues that you feel are holding you back and what your goals are for working towards a healthier, happier relationship. I will establish a plan for working through the issues and to help you both learn new relationship skills to move towards the future. I can help you explore new ways of communicating with each other that you may not have experienced before. Couples tend to settle into familiar patterns of relating to one another over time. I can help you identify the harmful patterns, learn how to break those patterns and go on to learn new healthier habits.
I can help you through the pain of an extramarital affair, to work towards healing on the other side. I have seen couples that were devastated by affairs find a path to a new understanding and rebuild trust and intimacy over time.
For couples that are preparing for marriage it is important to clarify expectations and work out any differences before getting married. Many engaged couples do not verbalize their expectations before marriage and they assume that each one is on the same page. The difficulties that you encounter early on need to be addressed or they can become recurring arguments. Premarital counseling can help solidify a relationship and set both partners on the right path.
I work with singles that are searching for a lifelong partner, I can help them choose wisely and pick a complementary partner and avoid choosing from unavailable people. Some people constantly choose unavailable or inappropriate partners and wonder why everyone else is engaged or married or in committed relationships except for them.
I work with each partner to help them evaluate their own self awareness so that they can understand what their strengths are and where their blind spots are. I can provide tools for each person to effectively compensate for their own blind spots and to build on their strengths. A strong self awareness is a very important part of a solid foundation for healthy relationships.
I find that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy approach is very helpful tool in dealing with many of the issues that couples face. CBT is a short-term, goal-oriented psychotherapy treatment that takes a hands-on, practical approach to problem-solving. Its goal is to change patterns of thinking or behavior that are behind people’s difficulties, and so change the way they feel. It is used to help treat a wide range of issues in a person’s life, from sleeping difficulties or relationship problems, to drug and alcohol abuse or anxiety and depression. CBT works by changing people’s attitudes and their behavior by focusing on the thoughts, images, beliefs and attitudes that are held (a person’s cognitive processes) and how these processes relate to the way a person behaves, as a way of dealing with emotional problems.
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