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Posted on 10/04/2021

7 Little Things That Help a Marriage

7 Little Things That Help a Marriage

One of the most common misconceptions about marriage is that a healthy partnership should feel effortless at all times. While it's true that your marriage should make your life better, all relationships take work. You're sharing your entire life with someone else, and maintaining this close bond requires a conscious effort from both you and your partner.

 This isn't just about grand gestures or major lifestyle changes, though. A healthy marriage is built from the countless little things that you and your spouse do to show your love and support for one another. By adding these small actions into your day, you can strengthen your connection with your spouse and ensure that you achieve long-term success in your partnership. Here are seven little things that help a marriage:

1. Say every compliment out loud.

One of the best ways to strengthen your marriage is to remind your partner why you like them and why you love them. Don't make a habit of keeping your compliments to yourself. Whenever you have something kind or supportive to say to your spouse, tell them. If they look particularly nice one morning, make sure they know. If you're proud of their accomplishments, let them know how talented and intelligent they are.

 Complimenting your spouse to other people is a great way to build up your relationship, too. If your spouse is in earshot, it can boost their self-confidence. Even if they don't hear the conversation, talking about your partner's great qualities can help you feel an even stronger sense of love for them.

2. Write down the funny moments.

Keeping a running list of the funny, bizarre, or otherwise memorable moments between you and your spouse can help you retain your humor years into your marriage. By writing these moments down, you can create long-term inside jokes with your partner. Laughing with someone else is one of the best ways to feel close with them, so you should never pass up an opportunity to joke around.

 Every once in a while, you and your spouse can look back on your list of funny moments to reminisce. You'll probably have forgotten about some of the situations, and it can be so much fun to revisit these old memories.

3. Write notes to each other.

Writing a surprise note to your partner is an easy task, but it's an incredibly thoughtful gesture. You could put the note in your partner's packed lunch, or you could leave a sticky note on their bathroom mirror or nightstand. Tell your spouse something that you love about them, and let them know you're thinking of them. It can be helpful to have a tangible reminder that your spouse loves you, and even a brief note is meaningful.

4. Start a shared hobby.

Quality time is critical for a healthy marriage, and participating in a hobby together is an excellent way to enjoy each other's company. It can be particularly fun to learn something new together as you'll both be on equal ground. You can each share tips and tricks as you learn, and neither of you have to take it too seriously when you're both beginners.

 You could take up a sport, game, or artistic endeavor, or you could go on outings to museums or live music shows. Whatever you choose, it should be enjoyable to both of you, and you should look forward to sharing the hobby with your partner. 

5. Smile.

It may feel silly to smile for no specific reason, but smiling regularly at your spouse can make both of you feel great. You could give your partner a warm smile to show them you appreciate them, or you could flash a goofy grin to make them laugh. Find moments to smile at your partner when you're in a crowd of people, too. Sharing a little moment like this while surrounded by others can be very meaningful, and it shows your spouse that you're thinking of them first and foremost. 

6. Don't be afraid to apologize.

For some people, apologizing feels like a failure rather than an important communication skill. If you find that you'd rather defend yourself and argue than apologize for something that's ultimately meaningless, try your best to break this habit. Apologizing genuinely for small mistakes or missteps and then moving on can save your marriage a lot of stress and heartache.

Listen to your partner when they tell you that they're upset about something. Even if you don't agree with their response to the situation, try to empathize with them. Then, you and your spouse can approach the problem as a team instead of as two opposing parties. 

7. Follow the 60/40 rule.

The 60/40 rule is a broad philosophy for your marriage, but you can apply it in countless little ways in your day-to-day life. The idea behind the rule is that one partner contributes 60 percent to the relationship while the other contributes 40. However, both partners are always trying to be the one giving 60 percent. When you both try to outdo the other while expecting less from your partner, you'll avoid resentment and foster gratitude.

Marriage is the biggest commitment that most people ever make. Your spouse is your source of unconditional love and support, and tackling life's challenges with a partner by your side can make the journey easier. You should be prepared to put in the work to make your marriage great, though. Every day, take small steps and make little gestures to nurture your relationship, and you and your spouse will reap the benefits for years to come.

If you are looking for professional counseling for your relationship or for yourself then please click here to search for a therapist in your state or local area. The National Registry of Marriage Friendly Therapists has therapists in almost every state, if we don't have one listed in your area then we will search your area and give you a list of possible candidates. Help is here.

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