Couples therapy can be helpful at different times. Pre marital therapy helps assure a platform that ###to ensure a smooth start to married life. A more meaningful and deeper relationship can be the reward for developing better communication skills in their sessions . other time Many people come to couples therapy only when they feel desperate about their relationship, being afraid of what they might experiencet in therapy. They expect the therapist to be judgmental and divorce or break up the only option.
In my experience, both partners are in a lot of pain even though it may not appear that way. Sometimes what just looks like unremitting anger or keeping a distance is the only way a person can show that they are hurt or frightened.
In sessions, by closely following what happens between the two of you in disagreements, we will find a way to “translate” the behavior that is so troublesome into ability to communicate nderstanding of what happens inside of both of you that triggers the fighting or distancing between you . As you gain a better understanding of the trouble between you, different ways of feeling and behaving become possible because you are able to feel and think more freely.
I would be happy to talk with you about your situation. I say that knowing that sometimes even making the call to begin seems hard. On the other hand, taking action can help end your continued suffering,
Many people come to marriage counseling feeling discouraged and expecting only to be judged. Often their relationship has been impaired/battered by years of arguing, silence, accusation and resentment; perhaps there has been a betrayal of trust with one partner having an affair.
I begin by hearing from each partner about what is painful in the relationship for them. I also gather family history and ask about other experiences that they feel have influenced them. My experience is that each partner is in pain even though it may appear that they are only resentful or withdrawn at home.
As we work together each partner begins to understand more about themselves and their partners - what fear is not being recognized or what wish is felt to be too shameful to be revealed. Many people come from homes where certain topics or emotions were just not discussed. Or there were too few people around who could support and want to understand them. Without that support, how could they learn to understand themselves or their partner?
